Drunk in Public (Tranportation)

First of all, let me apologize for starting off hot and then not doing anything for the last 1.5 weeks. Quite frankly, nothing much happened that would be blog-worthy and I've been ill, so the combination of the two doesn't help. Hopefully I'll post as frequently as promised.

My new job requires me to take 3 modes of transportation and is 1.5 hours from door-to-door. I jump on the N Judah Muni Train Line (San Francisco's public transit train) a half block from my house which takes me to a BART stop in the city. I then take BART (Bay Area Rapid Transit) to the Pleasant Hill Station from where I catch the shuttle my employer provides to the Safeway campus. It's not all that bad, really. I would have to drive an hour anyway, plus deal with $2.80 gas and bridge tolls and the aggravation of driving. Now I just pop on my headphones and read (I've read 5 books already in my month of public transit).

Despite my best attempts to block out the outside world, I can't help but notice there are some pretty interesting people who ride along with me, often providing some of the strange smells and stains I encounter as well. Following are some of the ones who stick out:

The Sleepers - The most common group of people, I don't understand how anyone can sleep on the Muni or BART. The conducter will brake, accelerate 10 feet and then brake again, throwing everyone up against the wall, but there's always one man or woman who won't even budge. How do these people do it? How do they not miss their stops? Aren't they afraid someone is going to snake their stuff? Do they suffer from narcolepsy? Again, I just don't get it.

The Solicitors - I run into someone from this group about once a week. It can be as simple as someone in a wheelchair asking for money for their medication to kids trying to earn money to go to hang-gliding camp or something. My favorites are the kids who have a box of plain M&M's that they're trying to sell for $4.00. I would totally love to buy your over-priced candy that looks like it's been left outside (as evidenced by the faded label) to bake into one congealed blob, but I really prefer Peanut M&M's.

The "Too Cool" for Public Transportation Clique - I must admit, I may be falling rapidly into this category. We're the ones who know where the best place to stand on the muni so that we have a minimal amount of people rubbing their various body parts on our asses as they work their way on and off. We keep an eye on the coveted spot near the doors on the inside part of the train car that won't be used as soon as we emerge from underground, and then jump to that spot as soon as possible. We read while standing up, not even bother to hold onto the safety rails, as we have our knees poised perfectly as shock absorbers and can sway back and forth as the conductor tries their best to make the train jump from the tracks. The key to the whole thing is to appear as if you are ignoring everyone and every once in a while look around the train as if to say, "See here, I'm reading a book, you cretins. Don't you enjoy how smoothly I make this look? Don't you wish you had as much public transportation knowledge as I? Now, back to my reading,". I had to pick some group to join, nobody wants to be a loner on the Muni.

Future Wife Just Dumped Me Guy - This was just one dude who was riding the Muni last weekend. He was a young guy and didn't look to be crazy. Heavily intoxicated, he would spit on the floor and cat-call every woman from 8 to 80 getting on the train. He would talk to himself loudly, then mouth words when trying to talk to others. I was ready for him to start trying to fight people. Then we noticed it. On his pinkie there was a woman's diamond engagement ring. The dude had obviously just been dumped, and was probably on hour 54 of his drunken recovery. Poor bastard.

The Staring Contest Crew - I'll find one of these guys about once a week as well. They try to come off as the hardest guys (and it's ALWAYS a guy) on the train. They'll constantly look around the train, trying to make eye contact with anyone. Once they do, they lock eyes and make sure the other person looks away first. Once they've vanquished their foe, they smirk and look for the next "punk". The funny thing is, these guys are usually 17 years old, coming in from the suburbs to go hang out in the city near the cable cars or the piers. Hilarious.

Gotta roll. If tonight goes down as expected, hopefully I'll have something else to post for everyone tomorrow.

jeremy